oh the woes, again

I went shopping with my sister for nursing bras. We went to Target, that may have been our first problem, but we don't have the luxury of spending more somewhere else that specializes better in women's underwear.
Target has a fairly decent selection, except one thing, nothing smaller than a 34 B. Now it's no surprise that my skinny darling sister is smaller than me. I was quite annoyed. Have bra manufacturers just decided to completely rule out the flat chested women? Just because they don't show up on TV or in magazines, here's a little newsflash, WE STILL EXIST!! AND (most of us) ARE NOT ASHAMED OF THE WAY WE ARE. And not only were the Bs the smallest size, they looked more like an engorged B, closer to C.
So flat chested women have been apparently, completely, ruled out when it comes to fertility and lactation. Well here's a little FYI, small breasts can still give milk.

Still in there?

We finally got to see the doctor again on Friday.
I was starting to get nervous, wasn't sure if I had imagined that I was pregnant or if there was still a tiny growing person inside me. I've been really lucky so far and have had the easiest pregnancy, I've only thrown up twice, and both times it was when I stayed up past 11:30pm. If I go to bed early, I don't get sick at all (except for the acid reflex stuff which has increased a bit, but I had that long before).
I'm also gaining some weight in my middle section, but I also haven't exercised much in the last month, mostly due to laziness, so I can't tell if I'm starting to show, or just getting fat. (I did go running on Saturday though, it felt great!)
Friday we went to the doctor and heard the heart beat, a healthy beat of 160. Baby is still in there. Thank goodness. It wasn't a dream after all.
He also said we're pretty much in the clear to go public as from here on out there's only a 1% chance of having the worst happen. So I've unlocked this blog and started texting some friends.
We are so excited (mixed with a little uncertainty as to how this is all going to work out, but trying to exercise our faith that it just will)

My Sister's Beautiful baby, Illiana Maylee Harlow

One Healthy Heart

Bitter-sweet would be the best word to describe our ultrasound. The good news: We saw a healthy lima bean sized baby with a rapidly beating heart. Heart rate of 164. It was the strangest and most beautiful thing I had even seen in my life. It's little heart was pumping right out of it's tiny chest. The baby was measuring right on target and looked overall as healthy as it could be for an 8 week old embryo.
The bad news, there was a twin, it didn't make it.
This may not have been so jarring except that my husband was already convinced that we were having twins, ever since day one of a positive pregnancy test. So finding out that we were right.... and wrong, at the same time, was more than sobering. It was hard to be happy for the healthy baby and morn the loss of the one that didn't survive at the same time.
We were glad that we called the doctor. We were glad to know of our misfortune so that we could also know of our rich blessing. We are very grateful for everyone who has offered prayers on our behalf.
Our doctor told us that since we have seen and heard a heart beat, there is now only a 5% chance of miscarriage. After the first trimester, the rest of the whole pregnancy there is a 1-2% chance of losing the baby. So we are happy with those odds. I am now nearly 11 weeks, so only a few more weeks to go until we can ease up just a little more.
We look forward to every moment. I don't mind being sick at night (I don't get morning sick). I've been really lucky and have only thrown up once, but I didn't mind, it means that I've been given what I wanted most!
I'm pregnant, we're going to have a baby, how can I be unhappy about any aspect of that?